How We Removed Yelling from Our Home

6 Things We Did That Brought Peace - Counting to 10 is not one of them.

There used to be a lot of yelling in our home. I’m not proud of it. My husband and I were raised a certain way, and breaking that pattern isn’t easy. Sometimes yelling worked- most often, it didn’t.

Without getting into too many details, we realized we needed to change drastically how we parent our kids. I saw no need to put my daughter in counseling because I needed to change; our home needed to change.

Here are the six things we did:

Water

Every day, we wake our daughter about an hour before she wakes up, have her take her medicine (so it can kick in when it’s time to wake up), and drink an entire bottle of water. Water is a big key to her happiness. We do not let this one slide- ever.

I bought a bunch of glass water bottles from Amazon, we fill them with filtered water and keep them in our refrigerator.

Diet

We removed almost all processed foods from our home. We make 9-grain bread from scratch in a breadmaker. My kid is the weird kid who takes salmon to school for lunch. This is not easy to do; I suggest doing it slowly. We also reduced sugar intake. We noticed a direct impact on our children’s disposition when they have sugar. Whenever there is a special occasion, and we let our son drink soda, we instantly regret it.

My husband had difficulty getting onto the ‘modify your diet’ train. He grew up on a farm in Kentucky. Rich people had processed foods; he was poor, so he had whole milk, beef, and eggs from his animals, and fruits and vegetables he grew himself. In his brain, processed foods = wealth. He knew it wasn’t true, but it’s a lot of internal programming to fight against.

We listened to a Huberman Lab podcast with Guest Christopher Palmer, and he was immediately on board. I know Huberman’s podcasts are long, but listen to the first 20 minutes- I’ve recommended this podcast to at least 50 people because it had a massive impact on our family.

We make all of our 9-grain bread. This is not as hard to do as it sounds. Will post the recipe and process for paid subscribers.

Sleep

There are no special nights where they get to stay up late anymore. The next day is always a disaster. Consistency in going to bed and waking up is critical.

Exercise

We have always focused on this but wanted to include it if exercise isn’t part of your parenting strategy. We make our kids walk on the treadmill for an hour a day. That is the only time they get to watch T.V. If they want to watch more shows, they walk on the treadmill. I started this during the COVID lockdowns, and it is one of the few smart parenting moves I’ve made.

I made a TikTok about this, and it went viral.

Particularly with ADHD, the best medicine is exercise.

Outdoor Time

We make sure they spend time outside every day. My autistic son craves it; if he doesn’t get his outdoor time, his behavior is less controllable.

The first time my son went to work on the farm, he complained a lot. The second time he complained less, now it’s his favorite thing to do.

My kids are their happiest after we have forced them to work outside. Their best days have been when we’ve made them chop down trees and dig ditches. An undeniable connection between being outdoors and physical work creates self-worth and happiness.

A Book Written By An FBI Hostage Negotiator

Listen to it on Audible. His techniques were much more effective than everything else we had been doing. I’ve found the most helpful parenting books to be sales books. We consciously decided to deploy his methods in our home and have had peace.

2021-2022 were the worst years of our lives. I write this strictly because I want to help others have a smoother journey than we had. I’m grateful we figured a lot out, but it would have been easier had we started these things sooner. If you have any additional tips and tricks, please share. We’re all in this together.